Episode 33: Hostile Takeover

The last time we dipped into the science fiction end of vampirism, it was humans using science as a response to vampirism in Ultraviolet. Now it’s the vampire’s turn, using technology to shape the world around them as half the day proves lethal and humanity’s numbers dwindle. Okay, so it does kind of devolve into standard action movie at the … Read More

Episode 32: Bleeding My Religion

Some things we have liked. Some things we didn’t. And some things were Eclipse. But behold, the movie that feels like it was made for us, a high-brow Cannes award winner that just gets us. Sure, there’s awkward sex, awkward men, awkward ghosts, awkward ghost men interrupting awkward sex, but we’ve also got religion, power within families, moral quandaries, a … Read More

Episode 31: Bad Medicine

Sometimes there is such a thing worse than being bad: it’s being nothing. And in this case, taking some interesting ideas and squandering them. Yes, we totally noticed you dropped that plotline there, move. Take BBC’s adaptation of Dracula back in 2006. Raiding the BBC period costume closet may seem like a good idea, but looking at a text and … Read More

Episode 30: Tarantino: The Id

Behold, the Id of the great director Quentin Tarantino – there’s more feet than you can shake a stake at! Also boobs, discussion of toxic masculinity, feet, boobs, the monstrous feminine, two plots smushed together, feet, some more tits, discussion of sexual violence and the men who perpetrate it, the lack of development of female characters, and breasts. And feet. … Read More

Episode 29: Total Eclipse of the Plot

Full title: Total Eclipse of the Plot, Characterisation, World-Building, and Everything That Isn’t Bella and Edward Or, in short: Fuck. This. Book.   For further Quileute reading: Home http://www.burkemuseum.org/static/truth_vs_twilight/ Home Home http://www.hcn.org/issues/44.11/the-quileute-reservation-copes-with-tourists-brought-by-twilight

Episode 28: Undead Science

Let’s be real for a moment: you’re only here because Idris Elba is in it, aren’t you? Well regardless we’re glad you’ve tuned into Ultraviolet, a six episode BBC series from the 90s with a very scientific and police procedural approach to vampires. Think The Bill with vampires. And that guy from the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. But a … Read More

Episode 27: Mullet-Sexual

Just when you thought teenagers couldn’t be even more asshole-ish, someone decided to give them fangs – and mullets. These vampires aren’t going to high school to pick up girls way younger than them – if they ever did set foot in a high school, it’d be to pause their motorbikes in a cool 80s pose before riding away after … Read More

Episode 26: Jesus Christ, Van Helsing!

Take the granddaddy of all vampire books, adding a director in desperate need of a hit and the screenwriter for Hook. Combine with actors who all think they are filming different movies, copious amounts of alcohol, and hot air balloon adventures. Finally top with operatic costumes, an unneeded romantic subplot, and a gorgeous score. And boobs. Lots of boobs. Congrats: … Read More

Episode 25: Skater Vamp

In the Iranian ghost-town of Bad Town, the living are trapped and the dead… skateboard? Described as the first “Persian-language American vampire western film”, A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night is made of so many more genres and so many more influences than even we could fit into a(n admittedly rather short) episode. Also, Dracula is high as [censored].

Episode 24: God Hates Fangs

It’s our second fangiversary, so let’s celebrate by taking a trip not down under but down south, one step out of urban fantasy and into a small town where everyone is ridiculously good-looking and willing to get naked. What began as a paranormal mystery series by a cozy mystery writer became an HBO extravaganza, while our attempt at sticking to … Read More